When I was younger, I loved jigsaw puzzles. I loved the challenge of figuring out how to put each piece in its proper place until it's original design was revealed. Every piece had a place and a fit. Also, depending on which pieces you started out with, the process of bringing the final design together was easier or harder. And sometimes when a puzzle was really hard, I had to take a look at the box that had a picture of the original design. See, the trick to being a good jigsaw puzzler and finishing faster than anyone else was in the order you placed the pieces you started with and the ability to envision the original design. Get it! Here's another game we used to play.Have you ever taken a set of dominoes and lined them up one behind the other to make a
design or shape and then topple them over. Believe it or not, there are world competitions for the Domino Day World record. The present world record holder has toppled more than 4 million dominos in one design. An amazing feat to be sure, because if even one domino is out of place, the whole design fails! Maybe now you're starting to get the picture. Things usually end as planned when the order is right, but usually end wrong & are made more difficult when the right order isn't followed. The same is true in marriage.
So many times during facilitation sessions, we find couples who'd gotten married 'out of order'. You see, God created marriage. To operate within it, you must understand His original design & intent. To try to use it in any other way is to continue to make things more difficult, if not impossible for yourself, your spouse, and your children. But for those who are already going through the fire of a bad marriage, I have great news! If you both want it, your marriage can be saved. You see, God wants you to succeed! And if you can come into 'real' agreement on the following three things, you'll begin to put things back in order and start to see an immediate positive change in your marriage & your family.First, recommit yourselves to making Jesus Christ Lord over your lives. So many times we cling onto the notion of Jesus being our 'friend' but not our 'Lord'. See, we can say 'no' to our friends. We can refuse a request from our friends. But when we make Christ our 'Lord', He can 'demand' that we work in areas of our marriage that we are uncomfortable in. Areas where 'we' have failed and that we must admit openly. When He is our true Lord, He can demand that we work & we must obey. Because to get things back on track, it will require us to work on ourselves as well as work by our spouse. We must allow Jesus Christ to be Lord of us as individuals as well as Lord of our marriage!
Secondly, start a true prayer life. Even moreso & get this...start one with your spouse also! It's hard to continue to be mad, fake, or insincere with someone who you 'hear' praying for your good, for your well-being, and for your divine protection. And it's hard to continue praying for someone who you are continually mad at, dissappointed in, or feel you no longer love without at some point wanting your own attitude toward them to change. But if you will commit to doing it no matter what you 'feel' like, you will begin to see God change your own heart and mend those things which you thought could not be mended.
Lastly, change how you talk to your spouse no matter what! What we say to one another has such an impact that it cannot truly be put into words. The Word of God says that 'Death and Life are in the power of the tongue'. That scripture has so many implications that it's impossible for me to go into it here. Suffice it to say, miracles happen everyday in marriages when someone decides to 'speak a thing' that doesn't seem to exist in their marriage, into existence. One of the most powerful tools we have in our relationships is what we 'say' to one another.
These steps are just the beginnings of turning a bad marriage around, but believe me when I say that doing them can change your world! They will be hard to do and that's no doubt! But they are life changing. Remember....everything works better when they're put together in the right order. I'll leave you with this seemingly rhetorical question that only you can answer. Did you start your marriage with the right order? If not, what are you going to do about it?! Live Blessed and Much Love!---Rev
Sons & Daughters of The King!
